


What It Takes To Come Alive

by casey_sms (shinygreenwords), shinygreenwords



Category: The Social Network
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Drugs, Fix-It, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-27
Updated: 2011-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-26 14:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/casey_sms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/shinygreenwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Logically, Mark knows that nothing can last forever.</i> A sex and drugs fix it!</p><p>Fill for a <a href="http://mark-eduardo.livejournal.com/368440.html?thread=2761016#t2761016">prompt</a> at the <span><a href="http://mark-eduardo.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://mark-eduardo.livejournal.com/"><b>mark_eduardo</b></a></span> <a href="http://mark-eduardo.livejournal.com/368440.html">prompt fest</a> for a fic based on Rihanna's music video <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg00YEETFzg">We Found Love</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What It Takes To Come Alive

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning/kinks:** Angst, romance, drug use, implied sex while under influence of drugs.
> 
> Accidentally based it on the lyrics [last time](http://archiveofourown.org/works/284224), so hopefully I got it right this time. Much thanks to [](http://kissingcrime.livejournal.com/profile)[**kissingcrime**](http://kissingcrime.livejournal.com/) as beta, all remaining errors are mine.

Logically, Mark knows that nothing can last forever.

There’s no way that he can do what he does without some kind of consequence. At least money isn’t an issue. He’s a billionaire.

So maybe he can.

Mark doesn’t really give a shit.

It feels good and- everything is good now.

It had been a mistake.

Them running into each other.

Not the drug taking.

At least not for Mark,, though he’s pretty sure it wasn’t for Eduardo either.

Mark knew what he was doing. He was experimenting, he was escaping, he was _alive._

Drugs give an artificial high. It’s not real.

Mark doesn’t care.

It feels real.

And isn’t that the whole thing with relationships online? People say it’s not real. But it feels real and then you trick yourself and after a while it doesn’t matter. It’s real for you and that’s what counts.

Coding is boring now. It’s pretty much all bug fixes and cross-platform functionality. Any redesign and the public goes wild and while he doesn’t care, he has to deal with the fall out. It means a billion press conferences and him doing press and he just can’t be fucked. He wants to say, “If you don’t like it, don’t use it.” But Chris had told him long ago that it’s committing suicide for the whole company if he says it. That no matter what, he needs to hold those thoughts in.

So Mark spends a lot of time keeping his opinions to himself. Letting the marketing managers give him words to spew out to keep people happy.

He thinks they’ve missed the point.

He used to piss people off without caring.

He feels like he’s taking steps backwards every day.

The first time, it isn’t Sean, despite what Chris will think. It’s in high school at a party. He just wants to try it. It isn’t terrible but it isn’t great either. It’s your run of the mill weed and it makes him feel a little giggly and mostly hungry. It doesn’t rate much in his memory bank.

The second time isn’t Sean either, it’s in college and he’s given a tab at a party. It makes the music better so the party doesn’t suck so much. Mostly, everything just feels more intense. But after a few minutes, he felt sick and he didn’t want to do it again. Yeah no, drugs are a bad idea. Not because of after school specials but he does not like the feeling of puking his guts out. It feels worse than a hangover and food poisoning combined.

The third time, he’s at Sean’s place after Sean agrees to step away from the company for the good of Facebook. It’s easy, easy like it should have been for Eduardo but wasn’t. Sean gets it. It isn’t personal. Then Sean rubs his hands and says, “since we got that over and done with, you don’t mind, do you?” and he’s already taken his gold visa out and he can see Mark staring so he offers him some, promising that he only saves the best for himself. Mark declines because he still remembers being sick and no. Sean tells him that only bad shit that gets mixed in makes you feel like shit. If you only put good shit in, it’ll feel good.

It makes sense.

“Just once,” Mark says.

It blows his mind.

It still blows his mind when he thinks about it. That first breath, that first wave of energy, a kaleidoscopic rebirth.

It feels like floating. No, even better, it feels like flying. It feels like the rush he’d gotten after he’d done lines and lines of code. All the numbers streaming through his head, the world is an equation and he has all the solutions in his hand. He sees windows and magic markers and- it feels like everything is better.

Coming down, he feels a bit cold but it isn’t too bad. He pulls another hoodie on and sits next to the heater and eats some ramen.

Sean gives him a bag “for the road”.

Mark thinks of declining and then, _fuck it_.

Sean grins. “If you want more, you know where to find me,” he says with a wink. “Nice doing business with you, Mark.”

And Mark takes it.

He doesn’t think he’d actually do it by himself but then he’s had a stressful day and he thinks just a bit to unwind.

Just a bit to help him not think for a while.

It’s not an addiction.

He doesn’t have to do it. He just likes it. He works hard and he has the money, so why not?

Still, he doesn’t want to rely on Sean. He doesn’t want Sean’s knowing look. He knows that Sean thinks he’ll be just like him but no matter what he thinks, he doesn’t own Mark. No one does.

He falls into it like a rabbit hole. It’s not hard when he knows a lot of rich people. Rich people like excess. Drugs are easy to find when you know where to look. Kind of like sex when you’re rich.

And like sex, doing it with someone else made it better.

It’s an afterparty for some, some thing. Whatever. He can’t remember what. It’s not important. He’s had a really long week. A shareholder meeting, a grilling by the press and yeah, he needs to chill out.

The drugs are lined up perfectly in front of him.

He takes it.

He sees Wardo dancing, all long limbs, sleek lines. He’s beautiful. He can tell that he is most definitely high. And Mark wants him.

“Wardo,” Mark says, happily, unable to stop his emotions from bubbling from inside him.

“Wha- Oh,” Eduardo says. “It’s really you. I thought I saw you. Like a million times.”

“You’re still here. I can’t believe it. I’ve missed you,” Mark says.

Eduardo kisses him, it’s a little rough but Mark wants it, all of it.

And they have the best night ever. It’s just Mark and Eduardo and it feels like the world is right again. It feels like the first time Facebook came alive.

He wakes up and Eduardo is gone, like he’d imagined it all inside his head. He’s feeling a chill creep down his spine but then he sees a slip of paper. He picks it up with hand that is shaking slightly. There’s a place and a time and the words “Let’s do it again.”

Mark smiles and lies down again, remembering.

Wardo is naked, perfect smooth skin. Bodies slide against each other, pleasure sparks and he can feel his heart race. He rocks into him and he closes his eyes, legs tangled, sweat still drying and Mark listens to Wardo tell him about yellow diamonds.

And how he loves them, loves him, loves so much.

It’s a piece of forever.


End file.
